Love In Translation
If each person has their private language, then love is about learning each other’s languages
Last summer, my partner and I went on an 80-mile bicycle trip around the southern shore of mountain lake Issyk-Kul in Kyrgyzstan. Gasping for air after cresting a murderously steep hill — the third one in a row — I asked him why on earth did he call the route “more or less flat.” “Well, that’s why I said “more or less,” he explained. It was by far not the first time I realized that asking “What do you mean?” was quintessential for building a peaceful and happy relationship.
It all started with the word “interesting.” As we began dating, I quickly discovered we didn’t mean the same thing when using that word. For me, calling something “interesting” was the best compliment in the world, while my partner did it whenever he didn’t like something but wanted to remain polite. I chalked up the misunderstanding to a funny personal quirk. Yet it turned out to be only the tip of the iceberg. When it came to details, we understood the most basic words differently, such as “warm,” “cold,” “smart,” and “kind.” Even “five minutes” were ambiguous, not to mention the vague concept of “soon.” Of course, it wasn’t long before we added “love” to the list.
